Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Morning People

This one started out as a practice and turned into something cool. Tell me what you think.


It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out in the park, and a body drops to the ground. The sound of footsteps can be heard running away but no one is there to see or hear any of this. Morning comes and in the drizzle of rain a police men happens to find a young woman lying dead in the park shot in the chest. He phones it in tapes off the area and waits as others soon arrive on the scene. Enter the detective. He is tall and slender with deep set brown eyes with short brown hair under his hat to match and unshaven. He takes out a pair of thin rimmed glasses and examines the body and the surrounding area, then he asks questions of the police officer who found the body and writes it all down in his little pocket notebook. He walks to a near by bench stairs into his little note book and starts to ask himself the really hard questions.


The detective’s young assistant, who has arrived slightly after him approaches. He is a good looking man with a wisp of short blond hair and pleasantness about him. He looks down at his boss and speaks. “What are you thinking boss?”


The detective grizzled out a reply, “the hard questions.”


“Are we to that already then?” says the assistant. “Who, what where, when, how, and why. I’m sure you have the preliminaries all ready for me, fire away boss.” The assistant takes out his own pocket notebook and turns to a new clean page as the detective reads from his own.


“Who; her name is Samantha Wilson of 1425 south Hampton row not far from here. She is twenty five and an organ donor, that’s all we have so far. And nothing on the man who shot her.”


“Are we looking for a man?” the assistant asks.


“Statistically yes, if it was a robbery then I would say most definitely, but if she knew her killer then the chances go down, but not by much. Let’s see here, what; what killed here is a shot to the chest, presumably by a hand gun. We’ll know more later on. What was it all about? That’s a more difficult question. Where is pretty obvious, here in the park? Where did her killer go is another one of those hard questions for later on as well. When; the coroner says between two and two twenty. The cold front bringing all this rain has chilled the body more then he likes. And now how.”


“Didn’t we answer that already boss?” asked the assistant. “With what killed her.”


“Your quite right, but what about the harder ‘how’. The one that is fallowed by a come. How come no one heard anything? We are hardly within the parks entrance with city all around us. Some one would have heard a gunshot.” The assistant scribbled furiously nodding his head the entire time. “Then comes the whys. Why was this woman in the park four blocks from her home at two in the morning? Why is she shot in the front and not the back? And why is she off the trail among the trees? That only leaves the big one left.”


“Why is she not wearing a rain coat?” the assistant chimed in. the detective looked up quickly, stood, turned round to face the crimes scene and smiled.


“You are on your game today. I completely missed that. Dang you morning people can’t stand you fellows my self but some times you do come through.”


“Thank you boss, I think. But what is the other why?”


“Oh yes, why would somebody want to kill her? Find that and you’ll win your self a cigar.” The detective closed his note book and put it in his pocket along with the glasses. “I’m going to get you started on that how come. Take some men and knock on doors around here, but before you do get some copies of here picture made up to show. I’m going to her place to find out more and find a number for someone to tell. By the time you get the copies made and start going round I should have told them already. We’ll meet up at the station around noon to compare findings. You got that?”


“Sure thing boss.” Said the young assistant. He trotted off back to the body wile the detective walked out to the street. He convinced a cop with a squad car to give him a lift to the victim’s home, but before he left he had to return to the crime scene to get her keys. “There aren’t any.” The assistant said after he looked.


“Add that to your list under where.” The detective said before returning to the waiting squad car. The entire way to the apartment he grumbled about morning people and about the rain and the cold. He would continue to grumble as he always did till nine thirty. That’s when his brain finally kicks on, that is the absolute earliest time that detective Mark Briton comes to life. Lucky for him his assistant, Sergeant Anthony Rogers is a morning person. The only morning person he has ever liked.

3 comments:

  1. It would be interesting to read this book and see how morning people figure in, weaving in and out, affecting the case or his perspective or whatever.

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  2. I like it. The where, when why how is kind of confusing to me. Maybe if he just gives the info without saying which question he's answering. I don't know if what I said even makes sense but I started to lose the ability to see the story in my mind at that point. You're a very good writer Jon. You have a true gift.

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  3. well if you are going to read this i'll put another story up. but remember to send me propts too.

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